this movie is freakin hilarious. dane cook is one of the best comedians that i know. and its this kid tht is imitating him as the voice speaks. you have to really listen to what he is saying. its so freakin funny.

I LOVES IT!!

<3>

the day eli came to snoopy's

so, eli and i were just chillin' online bitching about life
so what else is new?
and then i was like "dude, nobody should bitch about life on their own..." so i asked her to come to my place
she was hesitant
afraid...
and then she said yes...
silly muffin. so anyway. eli's right here w/ me and we're going to write
THE FIRST
AND NOT THE ONLY HOPEFULLY
TANDEM BLOG!!! *fanfare and drumroll*

eli: what are we talking about first?
snoopy: shit...i donno, we talked about a lot today.
eli: ohh yes. we'll start at the beginning. remember when we were in the cab coming to your house?
snoopy: ohh, you mean the concentration camp.
eli: yes. i live in a fucking concentration camp.
snoopy: but without the gas.
eli: well, dad said he was going to check the gas level before i left...
snoopy: HITLERRRRR!!!
eli: HAHA. *giggle*
snoopy: yeah that was great. children should be allowed to play in the wild where they can be seen, and having fun out in lawns.'
eli: but...they're stuck behind electric fences and concrete walls *sniffle*
snoopy: oh i know...
eli: haha, good times. what else?
snoopy: ooh ooh, THE PRINCESS BRIDE!!!
eli: fucking awesome movie. and you can quote me on that.
snoopy: screw that. no, its a good movie, but screw quoting you. meh.
eli: death cannot stop true love, it can only delay it for a little while.
snoopy: what the fuck. that makes no sense. what the what the fuck.
eli: i know...it sounds great tho...you cant analyze that. no way.
snoopy: hello, my name is inigo montoya. you killed my father. prepare to die.
eli: great line.
snoopy: from a great movie.
eli: oh yeah. there is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world, it'd be a shame to damage yours.
snoopy: too late.
eli: EWWWW!!! aaaagh.
snoopy: what? *innocent smile*
eli: okayy, moving on then...
snoopy: ah yes, bitching about the men. or lack thereof.
eli: ..shut up..
snoopy: its okay, dont feel bad. you'll get your chance.
eli: i suppose i will...i'd rather not have to bitch about anyone than bitch about your multiple men.
snoopy: HEY, not cool. i do NOT concur...
eli: hey, you opened that door. so dont even go there.
snoopy: go where?
eli: um...over there!
snoopy: alright, i wont. i'll take your word for it.


yea it was so much funnier during the moment, like at the time...but it was awesome to finally get my partner over here to the house. oodles of fun, oodles of bitching...and pizza. ugh. so full.

until next time. bye!

<3 snoopy & eli

federal charges

case number 696969

people vs. eliana toscani for blog neglect

how does the party plead? ...no answer?

hmm. i dont know what we're looking for...its just that ive been watching so much law and order that i know how that shit goes. its a great show.

for serious eli, you've been letting your academic duties get in the way for the care of our blog. i've been cleaning up its poop with little word document diapers and feeding it my mind milk. i can't do it all myself you know!!! you claim you're "in the office" when i bet you're cheating on us with other blogs. you ought to be ashamed!!! you dont even pay blog support! you cant watch half of the videos the blog has in it. you arent here to watch it GROW!!! it's going to forget what its daddy looks like! *cries* you better get back in here...

<3 snoopy

'goodbye' to FDR

saying goodbye to FDR is something i've been wanting to do for at least a year and a half. why not go out with a bang and risk losing my diploma right? you only live once. LIVE FOR THE MOMENT!
So, the way I would say goodbye. I would wait until mr. bradley got onstage to do his thingy of the month assembly. and then i'd sneak out quietly, claiming that it was an "i'll-wet-the-chair-and-you-if-i-dont-get-out" situation to get the fuck out of there. and then i'd sneak into ms. patty's office and grab some highly concentrated potassium solid. yes you know like A HUGE ASS CHUNK. then i'd slip into mr. smith's office and place a huge tub of water under his desk, near his PRECIOUS computer where his stupid iPod used to sit. yeah, right there...fucker.
so then...i'd set up this whole little trigger so that when smith pulls back his chair, it pulls the potassium into the water and...
BOOOOOOOOOOOOM SHACKALACKALACKAAAAAAAAAA!!!

oh yeah, that'd be a great goodbye present. more like a 'fuck you i'm hightailin' it out of here'. that sounds much better than 'goodbye.' really. i havent a question for you, but i want it to be a good one. hope you liked mah post!!

<3 snoopy

Crazy ass bitch...

wow, this is one crazy bitch. i got this on my MYSPACE, and thought i should share. thought you'd like something intellectual to see for once! haha. dont worry i'll answer the question soon enough.

So, imagine this...

...you're walking down the street, and its REALLY foggy outside...and i mean REALLY foggy. dude, you cant even see your hand in front of your fuckin face. and i know how that is at night...black hand...black night...let me tell ya, its tough stuff...
so its really foggy out and you hear these weird noises. like...FREAKY weird. kinda weirdish moaning sounds, ya know? you walk until the sounds get louder and louder...and LOUDER..................and then you trip over something and you fall flat on your face. face full of mud, you stand up and turn around to see...a couple smiling at you very embarrassed that you just tripped in the thong of the girl that's lying there between her lover's legs. EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
so that happened to me once...a long time ago. and it was really scary. i mean, these noises were WEIRD!! well, they were familiar, but since they werent coming from me, they were weird. and ohhh my god, that shit shouldnt be legal for people that ugly. seriously. would you like to be fucking someone with pimples on they ass?? I WOULDN'T!!! yeah, it was foggy out, but those things stuck out like lighthouses on a cliff with a 4000 watt bulb.

well, this was a short post. just to keep all you fans happy. all two of you...Ha...

ELI'S QUESTION OF THE DAY!

where would you rather get caught making out with a guy (please, no homo shit...haha): in the boys locker room in school? or in your mothers bed?

MUAHAHAH. enjoy :)

-snoopy