Gee...I wish I were a man...NOT

Let's see...if i were a man for a day how would i spend it eh? hMmMm...
i might spend it the way a lot of other men spend their days, thinking about women, buying, downloading and watching porn. ahh, but this may offend many men as they dont ALL do that...some dont like porn. haha. and that's cool...cuz they're just weird. woah, hey now, i dont like porn...at all...hate that shit. BAD FOR YOU!! seriously.
so lets see. if i were a man for a day, i would get up in the morning, scratch my testicles and yawn REEEALLY big, flop over to the mirror and check my face. my face would be stubbly and shit so i'd grope around for a razor and hope to god i dont cut myself cuz i was really wasted the night before...the night before was a sunday FYI. i have to go to work in like 20 minutes and i havent even make way for the shower. SHIT i cut myself already. i hope i have those tiny bandaids. so i'd finishing nicking myself and get into the shower and notice my wang. be like. holy shit, i've always wanted one of these, but not so...attatched to my body and ..SHIT that hurts when i flick it...OW, stop it!! dude, these things are just in the fuckin' way. who WANTS one of these?? its like having a pole with blood attatched to your body that reacts with your emotions. unfortunatley now i can be manipulated by girls who tend to pay attention in that region. shit, that sucks. ugh...why does it have to be so BIG?...
so, then i'd get dressed for work, and then i'd go off to the construction site, yeah cuz thats where i work...i'd put on my hard hat and think about porn as i revved up the chainsaw whipping it. oh yeah, you guys know that's EXACTLY what you do. dont lie. no, yea you, dont lie. im watching you...
then i'd come home and whack off to some useless porn and then call all these girls i WANT to date but they think im disgusting and i dont have a change with any of them. oh well.
so that's my day. i go to bed naked because its too hot to sleep with clothes on.

ELI'S QUESTION OF THE DAY.
sorry for not posting sooner, i've been VERY out of it.

If you were to pick between these two things: a nose bleed or chronic diarreah, which one would you choose to have? :)

-snoopy